Real Talk: What Dating is Like as a Christian Guy

Today on the blog, we bring you a submission from one of our readers - a 20 year old Christian guy who tells us the details about what he faced when God told him to "let her go".

We asked you to send in dating stories - be it a successful love at first sight situation, or the one that didn't work out. Have you prayed and had lightning from heaven come down as you asked God who your future spouse is? Or have you navigated the waters in a different way? Has it been messy? We want to hear your story! Send it to us at 

Hey guys! I usually don't respond to things like this but God's been putting it on my heart to be a part of this conversation. I really appreciate what ya'll do, this is a really important topic that most people are too scared to talk about. Anyway,

here's my story.

When I was in high school I dated this girl for a really long time and we were totally not meant to be together but we were both from Christian backgrounds so we kind of had to "justify" ourselves. We basically convinced ourselves that because we were together, it was God's will (Yeah I know, we were stupid).

It all started out innocent enough, but being together for a really long time, it escalated and we became emotionally dependent in really unhealthy ways. It was the first real relationship for both of us, and we had a whole lot of lust creeping in. As a guy, I faced a LOT of pressure to have sex with her right off the bat - often from "Christian" guys. Thankfully I never gave into that, but I did give in to too much. We let our relationship become based in lust rather than God, and everything fell apart from there.

In hindsight, I knew the whole time she was not the one God had chosen for me, but I buried that and wouldn't even admit it to myself. We were a cute couple. She was pretty, people liked us together and, you've gotta give the people what they want, right? Anyway, my senior year of high school I started to take my relationship with the Lord seriously, and I felt this real, tangible pressure from God that said "let her go". I argued with God for about three months and I'm sure you guys know that arguing with God tends to not work out. So we broke up. I was like "Alright cool God where's my wife tho?" God was like "ha it doesn't work like that."

So I tried to make relationships happen with some of my good female friends, but I could tell that that wasn't where he was leading me. I guess I expected that following what God wanted for me was going to lead straight into a field of sunshine and daisies but apparently that's not how God works. I'm 20 now, I'm in college, I would REALLY like for God to introduce me to my future wife at any given moment, but what I'm beginning to understand is that God has a lot of working on me that he needs to do. I've got to get prepped and ready and become a stronger follower of Jesus before God brings me into the relationship He wants me to be in.

I struggled with that for a long time but now I'm accepting it. The lust that lingered in my heart from my high school relationship is still there, and I still have to wrestle with it. But overall I'm just in a season of allowing God to take control of my life and trusting that He has the best plans for my future. Thank you guys again for your podcast and your blog and everything. It's really helped me come to terms with my relationship with God and with people. Ya'll are awesome. 

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